I'm still smiling about this morning.
I woke up early, in his bed. Next to him. With him. My stomach hurts thinking about it. A burning feeling cos I shouldn't be feeling what I am feeling.
It means so much to me. Just sleeping in his bed. Sweet sleep. And those early hours of the morning..when I'm half asleep and half awake..constantly in and out of sleep,changing positions just to get even closer to him..and I move away too, just to feel him moving to get closer to me again. We shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed. I know it. He knows it. But it still happens.
This morning I was already awake when he woke up..He stretched to reach for his phone. I followed his moves to make sure there was no space between us, his back towards me, I put my hand on his stomach pretending to be asleep. I had to. I cant possibly touch him when I'm awake. That's not allowed..
He laid there, replying to a text whilst I was caressing his stomach. He didn't push me away. He let me continue. I stopped and moved away from him, my back towards his back..He put the phone down, rolled over, came close to me, face against my neck. There it was. A totally conscious decision. His decision. Still pretending to be asleep I smiled to myself..and I haven't stopped yet..
