Okay, for once, this is not about Him..well, a little bit, but not much
I just need to get my worry out.."on paper"..I feel sick inside, so worried that it's unbelievable..but still..I'm not really sure if I've got anything to worry about!
Here's the deal; went out on Saturday and got SO shit-faced I have no idea what I did! No idea what so ever!!! My last memory of the nite is leaving the pub..about 10.30ish..Woke up the next morning, in my own bed, at 8 in the morning..checked my phone and found out I'd rung Him around 11 pm..Okay, fine..I figured I had left the pub due to being too drunk, but being a bit worried, I rang one of my mates to hear what had happened..Ok, so after an hour or so in the club we went to (no memory),my mates decided that I was too drunk to stay out (after throwing water in my face) (no memory) and put me in a taxi with another mate.(still no memory) around 12 a.m
Ok, so far so good.. I thought to myself; taxi- taxi ride (about 5 min, couldn't have managed to say too much to my mate who was in the taxi with me..) - home - bed- sleep.
Then yesterday, I found out that at 01.30 I had tried to ring one of my other mates (again; no memory) and texted another mate (empty text though) at 2.15!!! What the hell was I doing between 12 am (taxi ride) and 2.15???????
I dont dare to find out. I dont want to find out. I could probably ask my mate who was with me in the taxi , but I'm scared
I either made my mate follow me inside, undressed in front of him and went to bed (a little bit embarrassing)
or
made my mate follow me inside, undressed in front of him and spent 2 hours talking about Him, how much I'm "in love" with Him and how frustraded I am (Very embarrassing)
or
made my mate follow me inside and tried it on/slept with him ( Very Very Very embarrassing..so much so that I would wanna die!)
God, I dont know what to do!!
I'm scared I've said silly stuff (about Him) and scared that He will find out from our mate!
Four things have made me feel better
1) I woke up in my knickers (i.e. I didnt sleep with my mate)
2) I rang my mate on Sunday and was all normal towards him, he was kinda normal back
3) my mate invited me and my other mates to the cinema via email yesterday (normal)
4) My eye make-up was fine when waking up i.e. I had not been crying talking about Him
But one major thing overshadows all of these;
My security lock was not on which means
1) I was too drunk to lock my door (please, please, please let this be the case)
or
2) My mate followed me inside my flat........
Shiiiiiit...dunno what to do..I will never EVER drink that much again! NEVER!!
